GillespieShields is committed to providing access to exceptional legal services throughout the current coronavirus (COVID-19) crisis. The firm is providing a reduction on all professional fees for new hourly matters through May 1, 2020. Please call our intake team today, 602 870 9700. Learn more

How Can I Decide If Divorce Is Right For Me?

The confusion is understandable. It is normal to be conflicted about divorcing. This is one of the most important and difficult decisions you will ever face. It is not a decision that should be made on the spur of the moment or without careful consideration and planning.

Clarifying what is bothering you and your relationship is the first step toward understanding the choices and decisions you face. Nobody expects a divorce on their wedding day.

If you are considering divorce, do any of these resonate for you?

  • Maybe you’ve started to imagine life without your spouse—and it feels good. You fantasize about a new, happier life, perhaps with a lover. At the same time, you are disturbed by this fantasy because you are aware that your marriage is in serious trouble. Or perhaps you’ve met someone new who appears to meet your needs in a way that your spouse does not.
  • You may feel so hopeless and discouraged about your marriage that you see no other option but to end it.
  • There has frequently been some kind of betrayal. Perhaps you’re involved in an ongoing or unresolved affair. You feel completely unloved, or even worse, neglected and degraded.
  • Your spouse has let you down in a significant way. Perhaps your spouse has made no financial contributions to your marriage and is completely reliant on your financial support. Maybe you believe your spouse is untrustworthy. You have the impression that you are doing all of the work in the relationship.
  • There might have been issues with abusive or coercive control. In this situation, you will need to devise a safety plan, which is especially important if you have children. If there has been violence, the decision to divorce may precipitate a violent outburst when your spouse believes he or she has nothing left to lose.
  • You are lonely and you have dried up intimately. You may be drawn to another person—and you recognize this as an alarming warning sign.
  • You feel that you have tried all to revive your dying marriage. Maybe in the past you’ve been looking for advice and “it didn’t work.” I often hear that my customers went to a few sessions before I quit the treatment.
  • You feel that you just got out of hand. You don’t have anything to talk about, interest or activities to share, and you would prefer to be with friends instead of your wife. You no longer discuss anything else but logistics, who is going to shop for dinner and who is going to pick the children up.
  • You used to help each other out, and it was vital to each of you to provide and receive that help. Now you feel unfriendly and you realize that you don’t support your wife in particular.
  • A mountain of resentments has been swept under the rug. You have not spoken or resolved about them. You don’t want to talk about it. You’re not only hopeless, but you don’t care about that, either.

You find that you are no longer in agreement about important matters: how your children can be raised, how they can spend money and your long life vision. Many of your objectives are totally incompatible.

Family law attorney Mesa & Phoenix Arizona, Mesa & Phoenix AZ Family law attorney, Top Family law attorney, Best Family law attorney, Civil law attorney, Estate planning attorney
GillespieShields Phoenix Arizona Top Family Law Attorney(2)

By Azwatchdog – Own work, CC BY 2.5, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=5816262

Are You Looking for a Family Law Attorney You Can Trust?

The attorneys at GillespieShields are well-versed in a variety of different legal fields, ranging from family law to civil suits, employment disputes and probate cases. Although we specialize in several areas of practice, our greatest passion is family law. We believe in giving families peace of mind no matter their situation, and we fight hard to maintain that peace. Whether you’re filing for dissolution or divorce, determining custody of your children, or thinking about adopting children, our experienced attorneys are here to help you every step of the way.  During our private, one-on-one consultation, we’ll take the necessary time to answer all of our questions surrounding Arizona’s family laws, your family’s unique situation, and the possible court outcomes. Contact us today for your consultation!

Disclaimer 

The materials available on this website are for informational and entertainment purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal advice. You should contact your attorney to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.  You should not act or refrain from acting on the basis of any content included in this site without seeking legal or other professional advice. The information presented on this website may not reflect the most current legal developments.  No action should be taken in reliance on the information contained on this website and we disclaim all liability in respect to actions taken or not taken based on any or all of the contents of this site to the fullest extent permitted by law.

Contact Us


Phoenix Location

7319 North 16th Street, Phoenix, AZ 85020 | 602-870-9700

Mesa Location

1630 S. Stapley Drive, Suite 212, Mesa, AZ 85204 | 480-985-4000

COPYRIGHT ©1985-2021 GILLESPIE SHIELDS | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED